[4] Denial

Abstract

Artist Statement

Until recently, I found myself torn between two different worlds, one of science and one of art. My initial interest in science is directly correlated with growing up in a healthcare-based family. Even as a toddler I enjoyed helping my father at his Chiropractic office by taking patients by the finger and walking them to their designated exam rooms as well as having memorized all of the scientific names of the bones in the human skeleton. Also, throughout high school and college, I spent many summers and off-days helping my father with everything from auto accident paperwork to patient physical therapy. In a way, I grew up in his office and due to that, I developed an interest.

I first knew that something was different about me when I entered middle school. Not only did school prove a lot more difficult for me than other children due to a learning disability but I was also bullied quite extensively. It seemed like the more I tried to fit in, the more the other kids pushed me away. By the end of those three years I had decided that instead of trying to fit in, I wanted to be as different from everyone else as I possibly could. When I entered high school, I developed an interest in art. I found that I was able to channel my emotions and direct them into a passion that allowed for a creative release. I thrived on my ability to be creative and was voted “most unique” my sophomore year and runner-up for “most artistic” my senior year. Art became the cornerstone of who I was as well as who I wanted to be but I still had a place in my heart for the sciences.

The untimely death of my cousin Josh on November 11, 2011 was a huge turning point in my life. As my family and I have been recovering over this past year, I have been doing extensive amounts of self-reflection as well. His passing allowed me to assess myself for who I really was and what I really wanted out of life. He made me realize that my happiness was the only thing that really mattered and art facilitated that happiness. It was through his passing that I was able to truly reflect on what was really important. My collection, “Creative vs. Creation” is dedicated to him and the countless others dealing with depression and anxiety as well as to those in the lives of the individuals struggling as well.

In my collection “Creative vs. Creation,” I was able to join my love for science with my love for art in a way that raises awareness for the prevention of suicide. Each of my pieces represents a different stage of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In my opinion, we can never truly accept the loss of a loved one, which is why there is not a piece of artwork for acceptance. I selected my color pallet and subject matter to resemble x-rays to pay homage to the science-lover in me as well as to suggest the importance of individuals showing how they feel on the inside on the outside. What is on the inside is the most important. Each work calls for the struggling individual to seek help as well as the individuals around that struggling person to reach out to them.

To create my series, I did a paper-mache technique on large pieces of foam core board to create texture and after the boards dried, I painted them white. Next, I created a design in Photoshop and printed it to make a stencil. I sprayed gray and black spray paint over each of the stencils to create my design. My primary goal was to achieve a propaganda-style design through simplicity and directional titles to advocate the awareness and prevention of suicide by combining my love for science with my love for art.

Mixed Media